Hovercraft

Jay Hasson: Well, sir, there’s nothing on earth
Like a genuine,
Bona fide,
Diesilfied,
European,
Hovercraft!
What’d I say?
Ned Flanders: Hovercraft!
Jay Hasson: What’s it called?
Patty+Selma: Hovercraft!
Jay Hasson: That’s right! Hovercraft!

[crowd chants `Hovercraft' softly and rhythmically]

Miss Hoover: I hear those things are awfully loud…
Jay Hasson: It glides as softly as a cloud.
Apu: Is nothing all we’ll have to spend?
Jay Hasson: Not on your life, my Hindu friend.
Barney: What about us brain-dead slobs?
Jay Hasson: You’ll be given cushy jobs.
Abe: Were you sent here by the devil?
Jay Hasson: No, good sir, I’m on the level.
Wiggum: The ring came off my pudding can.
Jay Hasson: Take my pen knife, my good man.
I swear it’s Halifax’s only choice…
Throw up your hands and raise your voice!
All: Hovercraft!
Jay Hasson: What’s it called?
All: Hovercraft!
Jay Hasson: Once again…
All: Hovercraft!
Marge: But Main Street’s still all cracked and broken…
Bart: Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!
All: Hovercraft!
Hovercraft!
Hovercraft!

[big finish]
Hovercraft!

Peter Kelly: Mono… D’oh!